Archive for the In the News Category

Sucker punch

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on June 14, 2011 by dunnthat

I feel the air whoosh right out of my gut when my sacred beliefs are mocked.  Truly – physically painful.  I can’t help but wonder, Can they do that?? Can they SAY that??  It just seems so…wrong.

I watched the Tony Awards last night – a bloated affair of self-congratulatory narcissists who pride themselves on their open-mindedness.  Look, I love musicals.  And plays.  And movies.  I buy into the admiration of those who pretend for a living.

But there was just this icky feeling about the entire show, from the first song (Not just for gays anymore) to the celebration of the grand success of Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s The Book of Mormon Musical, I just felt so squirmy and uncomfortable.

No – I haven’t seen the musical.  But from the moment I heard about it, I felt that sucker punch in my gut.  Apparently it is the most vulgar and crass production ever on Broadway.  49 uses of the f-word.  In one play.

Awesome.

When I see the actors portraying missionaries with the symbolically significant name tags on their white shirts – it hurts.  I have had three missionaries serve the LDS church, and I know how sacred those tags are to them.  Once a missionary has been released from his mission, the name tag is tucked carefully away, precious to the one who wore it.

Once one of my younger boys wanted to be a missionary for Halloween and asked his older brother if he could wear his plaque.  The older brother explained its sacred significance and the plaque remained tucked away where it belonged.

Weird to those who don’t understand, but the plaque is sacred.  Precious to those who’ve worn it.

But I have to wonder…Is there a purpose in this?  Will the success of the Best Musical 2011 The Book of Mormon bring more good to the LDS Church than it does pain to my heart and the hearts of millions who believe?  Think about it – who would have ever thought the word “Mormon” would be said at the Tony Awards EVER?  Now think about how many times it was said – 14 nominations and 9 awards.  This can be good, right?

There is a quiet non-LDS outcry amidst the critical outpouring of love for the musical.  How can the mocking of religion be so warmly embraced?  What if it were The Koran, or The Torah?  Can you imagine?  And from what I’ve read, the portrayal of Ugandans is blatantly racist.  Some suggest that Ugandans have a greater reason to be offended than Mormons.

So, the LDS church has non-LDS support.  What about those who see the play who wonder – what is this all about?  Someone suggested on another site that the mission president in New York should have missionaries standing outside the theater handing out copies of the Book of Mormon:  “You’ve seen the play, now read the book.”

Why does that sound rather appealing to me?  I would never want one of my boys subjected to the kind of crudity they would undoubtedly encounter in such a situation, though.

But…good thought.

Michael Otterson wrote an amazing piece in the Washington Post from the Latter-day Saint perspective.  My favorite part – when he pointed out that the creators of The Book of Mormon Musical spent seven years writing it, and Otterson listed what the church had done in Africa during those seven years.

Here’s the really weird thing – during the Tony Awards, one of the songs from the musical was performed.  The actor portrayed a missionary who was struggling with his faith.  The song is called “I Believe.”

Don’t judge me, but I kind of liked it.  And to be honest, most of what was said was fairly accurate about what and how I believe.  Of course there were mistakes in theology, but surprisingly few and surprisingly minor.

But pay attention to the parts where the audience laughed at what this “missionary” believed.  At his faith.  At what the audience perceived as outrageous beliefs.  And this is where I struggle:

When did standing by that which is morally sound become something to laugh at?  How crazy can it be that I believe that one shouldn’t lie or steal or cheat on one’s spouse or have sex before a legal commitment to marriage or that I should treat my body as a temple – a gift from my God?  For that matter, how is it that my belief in God, in His word, His creation of man and earth, and that I am His child makes me blind, a sheep who stupidly follows, ignorant and downright crazy?  And how can volunteering to serve the needy at my own cost be a bad thing?

Let’s look at a few of the more outrageous events that most Christians believe:  Water into wine, the parting of the Red Sea, Jesus Christ died and was resurrected, Lazarus rising from the dead , a virgin birth… Shall I go on?

So is it so weird to believe that the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored in the latter days?  That the word of God was written on gold plates and buried until the world was ready to hear these words?  That God would assist His righteous people to flee a destroyed Jerusalem?  That God speaks to his Prophet today?

Really, if you look at Christianity literally, isn’t it all a little hard to believe without faith?  Without prayer and personal revelation as to His truths?

The problem is this – the play mocks those who believe – as if we are told to “just believe” without any thought or personal prayer.  Apparently neither missionary in the play has even read The Book of Mormon.

Yep.  That’s what we teach all right.

So what do you think?

LATE EDIT:  Remember Proposition 8 in California and all the negative press the LDS church got for supporting it?  According to Elder Ronald Rasband (who lives in my ward) church membership is exploding there.  Draw your own conclusions.

WHEW! I am NOT a racist!

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on March 26, 2011 by dunnthat

Since practically everyone who is Caucasian is now a racist if they ever say anything negative about someone who isn’t Caucasian, even when, and sometimes especially when, what is said has nothing to do with race, but rather, say, political policy or something insignificant like that, imagine my great surprise to find out that I have just enough minority blood in me to allow free speech.

It is a fact:  I am 1/16th Cherokee.  And proud of it.

I always wanted to be a Native American when I was growing up.  (Back then Native Americans were called something quite racist – apparently – but in actuality is simply a geographical mistake perpetuated by that horrible Caucasian Christopher Columbus, who I honestly don’t know if he was racist at all, since I don’t know him personally, but I choose to call him geographically challenged rather than racist – and honestly, I can’t find my way out of a paper bag myself, so I truly can’t call Columbus geographically challenged on a sliding scale since I’m the worst at directions and rely heavily on my in-dash GPS and sometimes don’t even trust that to get me where I’m going.  Just saying.)

ANYWAY…I read a lot of Westerns growing up and I thought the white man was despicable.  So I was thrilled to find out my true heritage when I was around fourteen years old.

100% 1/16th Cherokee.

Now.  I look really Caucasian.  So some people might be confused by my heritage.  So I have to point it out to them now – since discovering this fun fact:

Ashley Herbert is the new “Bachelorette.”

Yes.  Let’s all take a moment and yawn.

Eh.

Anyway, the show has been accused of being racist because they don’t have any minorities as kings or queens (the pickers).

Let me just say this about that:  Whatever your ethnicity, be glad if you choose to skip this experience.  You are the better for it.

But when I read the Deseret News article detailing the accusation, I saw this quote:

In the Entertainment Weekly interview, Fleiss said he believed the new “Bachelorette,” Ashley Hebert, was one-sixteenth “Cherokee Indian, but I cannot confirm. But that is my suspicion.”

YAY!  Finally, being 1/16th Cherokee has its benefits!

I should apply for minority funding on something.

Bad news for Santa

Posted in In the News on September 8, 2010 by dunnthat

Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac (that’s MD doctor y’all) was really into her boyfriend.  He wasn’t so much into her.  At least not on August 25th, 2010.

On again off again.  That’s the way the relationship crumbles.  They just couldn’t get on the same page.  She wanted on.  He wanted off.

BF wouldn’t let her in his house. 

So she tried to get in with a shovel.

A shovel.

That didn’t seem to work (could she have considered, I don’t know, breaking a window??). 

Dr. Jackie (47 years old PS) then procured a ladder, climbed up on the roof, pulled the cap off, and slid feet first into the chimney with her arms over her head.

BF at some point in this process took off.  Outta there.  To “avoid confrontation.”

Chicken.

He should have stayed.  Because…guess how big a chimney flue is at its biggest?  15×7 inches.  That’s the top.  Then the chimney narrows to four INCHES.

That’s just not big enough.

Dr. Jackie got lodged into the chimney awfully tight.

Three days later a house-sitter “noticed a stench and fluids coming from the fireplace.”

The house-sitter took a peek up the fireplace and discovered Dr. Jackie’s decomposing body two feet above the top of the interior fireplace opening.

How would you like this to be your legacy?  You got drunk, you got crazy, and you died by lung decompression IN A CHIMNEY whilst stocking a boyfriend. 

Oh, and you’re 47 freaking years old. 

OH, and YOU’RE A DOCTOR. 

Who sees patients.

And this is how you’re known.  Forever and ever.

I’m not lying.

I weep for mankind.  I really do.

Nothing exciting ever happens in my ward

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on August 18, 2010 by dunnthat

Ladies, I’m touched.  Truly.  Sorry I’ve been a slacker.  Honestly, this has been the weirdest summer.  I have a lot to say, and I’m faced with a strange challenge of knowing what to say when and where to start.  Because there is SO MUCH, I’ve had a hard time making myself sit down and do it.

I know.  I’m odd.

The most exciting news of the moment is that I just barely spoke to the Missionary.  He’s in Denver on his way to Winnipeg.  He used his debit card and said it probably costs $3 a minute so we needed to be fast.  I wonder where he got that figure, but there it is.

He sounds great.  I miss him.  He’s such a dear sweet boy.

Sigh.

Anyway, here is a little food for thought until I get my crap in one sock… I heard this story on the news yesterday.  I kind of want it to speak for itself, but I’ve had the hardest time finding a decent article about it. 

It’s like there’s some kind of cover-up [snort]. 

That super clever comment will make more sense after you’ve read the story…

I am filling in the blanks from the television news story I heard yesterday.  A couple of times.

Now, I shouldn’t make fun of people who clearly have a social issue or two.

And I’m not.

But COME ON

Last Sunday during the hour of instruction for the wee ones, a woman dropped by the cultural hall and then stripped herself naked.

NAKED.

Then she proceeded to, uh, handle herself in a manner that demonstrated to at least one child that we should learn to love and appreciate the bodies God gave us.

She could not be persuaded to put her clothes back on.  She had to be escorted out of the building until the law arrived.

Really.

Nothing exciting ever happens in MY ward…

Linky.

Two faced

Posted in In the News on June 15, 2010 by dunnthat

The actual definition of two faced:

This kitten has two faces… two noses, four eyes, two mouths that nurse equally.  Apparently the mouths feed one stomach.  Though animals born with this rare disorder rarely survive, hopes are high for this kitty, appropriately named Two Face.

Just trying to educate the masses.

If you want to see a cheesy news video, here you go:

Is it weird that I think this kitten is cute?  Guess not.  ALL kittens are cute. 

Then they become cats.  And are universally ugly.

For the record

Posted in In the News on May 2, 2010 by dunnthat

I delivered FIVE children who were larger than this horse (three boys over 9 lbs.).  I do have to give snaps to the horse mom for delivering hooves, though.  Don’t think I could do that.

Weighing in at a hefty 6 lbs. at birth, Einstein was welcomed into the world April 22, 2010.

If the photos aren’t enough cuteness, here is a video of Einstein… ADORABLE!

Serves him right

Posted in In the News on April 30, 2010 by dunnthat

Some lame guy had the nerve to call Anna Godfrey “fat” at a party in Lincoln, Nebraska.

So she tackled him and bit off a chunk of his right ear.

They never found the chunk.

Question:  Did Anna just get fatter?