Farewell old friend

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  Though the body and mind are all going south, the one attribute that has never let me down is my hair.  Remember this?

So I say:  CELEBRATE THE HAIR!  Sure, you may be sick of me mentioning it, but when it’s the only thing you’ve got, you just have to GRAB HOLD OF IT.

I see my hair dresser every six weeks for a trim and a color BECAUSE… I am going pretty gray.

There.  I said it.

To the naked eye my hair appears blond.  Upon further inspection you will see significantly darker hair underneath.  AND YET, that is not all – apparently there is a third color she uses to cover my gray.

So I often get asked, “What is your natural color?”  To which I reply:

I have no idea.

Whenever my hair dresser starts chatting up the amount of gray in my head I say, “Less talking!  More coloring!”

As I’ve said, things are starting to go sour a lot in the mind/body region of my life.  For example, today when I took a shower and washed my hair, I got out, dried myself, took my hair out of the towel, and as my face was feeling rather tight, I generously applied lotion all over my face.

No I didn’t.

THIS is what I put on my face:

You can see my confusion, right? I had just taken my hair out of the towel you see, and then I …

Oh forget it.  There is really no satisfying reason I did this.  But I must say…

My face is very smooth.

Example 2:  I’m a pretty impatient person generally – at least when it comes to eating.  And drinking I guess.  I just want to be DONE with it.  So I hurry.  And I have developed…

A drinking problem:

I swear I always have a wet spot on my chest.

OH – a follow up to the colonoscopy (a SURE sign everything is going to crap):  I told my doctor that my husband’s doctor told him he had the colon of a 20-year-old, “And we’re very competitive.”  He said, “Yours is 19.  Maybe 18.”

COUNT IT.

Anyway, since the rest of me is falling apart, I embrace the fact that my hair grows well.  And I have been letting it.

Because I can.

And…it’s getting rather long.  Now, keep in mind I am NOT tipping my head back (I kind of wish I would have…this photo almost looks like I’m looking down.  THE POINT – my hair is long).

I believe it’s time to quit and return to a more normal length.  Why?  You might ask…

Weird things are happening.

Like, I’m starting to find food in my hair at the end of the day.  (Notice – NOT hair in my food…though that happens as well – gross.)  Not “cool” food like broccoli or broiled chicken.

More like… Ice cream.  Peanut butter.  Melted chocolate.  Honey.

So I’m binge eating.  Don’t judge.

It’s also getting stuck in weird places.  Like when I work out and it’s in a pony tail, it sometimes gets stuck in my armpit.  And I have to pull it out.

I’m not joking.

When I sit in a chair or on a bench, I lean back and it gets stuck behind me and I can’t tip my head forward.

So, I realize, that just as my body/mind is abandoning me, so must my hair depart.  Not because it has let me down, but because I have let it down.

Farewell long tresses.  Monday, it’s back to normal.

P.S. You may think I have no arms.  Oh yes I do.  They are fat.  Therefore, they are in front of me.  Also, I will still have long hair. Just losing about 4-6 inches.

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7 Responses to “Farewell old friend”

  1. my hair gets stuck everywhere, like the car door, my seatbelt, under my backpack. I feel your pain. P.S, I loved you commenting on my blog 🙂

  2. Ahoy! You visited my blog ages ago and invited me to yours. Unfortunately I just discovered this today during a nostalgic blogathon. Thanks for the invite and your kind comments about my writing! Writing is my only thing. I have very little talent in any other way:)

    I’m so jealous of your lovely hair. Mine is all falling out and I never thought I’d be creatively trying to hide bald spots at 33. What ev. (cry)

    I love Louise too. I love and hate to read her. Love her cuz she’s so darn entertaining. Hate it cuz I know I’ll never be that good! Bah!! Dilemma! Come visit again soon! I know I will on your blog!

  3. Beautiful hair to go with your beautiful person. Tho I love your hair, I understand that it must go. Brings back memories. Your mom let her hair grow all the while I was away in the army, and it reached her butt. It was absolutely gorgeous! I initially asked her not to cut it, but after observing how much time and work it took to keep it looking so beautiful, and also after fighting my way thru it in bed, I told her it would be OK with me if she cut it (a relief to her). I was sad to see it go, but happy to say goodbye to all work and the omnipresence in bed.

  4. Note to self: try conditioner on my face.

    You have a fantastic head of hair and a great hair dresser. Never noticed ANY gray.

    Perhaps the wet spots you find on your chest could be lactation… I’ve heard you say that your milk just came in several times…

  5. So am I allowed to comment on this now? 🙂
    I couldn’t help it on this one. I guess I was having one of those days where you haven’t laughed in too long so when something makes you laugh it’s a little too hard in a place that’s a little too quiet, so you have to try to stop yourself but that just makes it worse, so then you’re giggling to yourself like an idiot in public for an hour..
    Anyway I think you’re hilarious. And I’m not the only one. I received a text from an anonymous source today that said “don’t say anything because I don’t want to look like a stalker, but I came across your mother-in-law’s blog and I am actually crying. She is hilarious.”
    So congrats on making me look crazy and making a stranger cry 😉 love it.

  6. So after you commented on the Digital Memorys blog, I had to follow up and read through a couple of your posts. Ha. I love them. You’re opinions are so honest and hilarious. Thanks for the comment on the video. You should post it on your blog just to share with the world 🙂

  7. Where are you funny friend?? I keep on checking, but……. Come back soon!!

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