WHEW! I am NOT a racist!

Since practically everyone who is Caucasian is now a racist if they ever say anything negative about someone who isn’t Caucasian, even when, and sometimes especially when, what is said has nothing to do with race, but rather, say, political policy or something insignificant like that, imagine my great surprise to find out that I have just enough minority blood in me to allow free speech.

It is a fact:  I am 1/16th Cherokee.  And proud of it.

I always wanted to be a Native American when I was growing up.  (Back then Native Americans were called something quite racist – apparently – but in actuality is simply a geographical mistake perpetuated by that horrible Caucasian Christopher Columbus, who I honestly don’t know if he was racist at all, since I don’t know him personally, but I choose to call him geographically challenged rather than racist – and honestly, I can’t find my way out of a paper bag myself, so I truly can’t call Columbus geographically challenged on a sliding scale since I’m the worst at directions and rely heavily on my in-dash GPS and sometimes don’t even trust that to get me where I’m going.  Just saying.)

ANYWAY…I read a lot of Westerns growing up and I thought the white man was despicable.  So I was thrilled to find out my true heritage when I was around fourteen years old.

100% 1/16th Cherokee.

Now.  I look really Caucasian.  So some people might be confused by my heritage.  So I have to point it out to them now – since discovering this fun fact:

Ashley Herbert is the new “Bachelorette.”

Yes.  Let’s all take a moment and yawn.

Eh.

Anyway, the show has been accused of being racist because they don’t have any minorities as kings or queens (the pickers).

Let me just say this about that:  Whatever your ethnicity, be glad if you choose to skip this experience.  You are the better for it.

But when I read the Deseret News article detailing the accusation, I saw this quote:

In the Entertainment Weekly interview, Fleiss said he believed the new “Bachelorette,” Ashley Hebert, was one-sixteenth “Cherokee Indian, but I cannot confirm. But that is my suspicion.”

YAY!  Finally, being 1/16th Cherokee has its benefits!

I should apply for minority funding on something.

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5 Responses to “WHEW! I am NOT a racist!”

  1. so this makes me… 1/32??

  2. lucky you. you can say all the racist things you want. sigh.

    ashley WILL be a yawn. let us hope that she tones down that bright red lipstick, that her new hair extensions will stay in place, and that she lays off the crack and stops bouncing off the walls. (hyper!)

  3. I think you should reconsider if you are a racist–I mean you do live in Alta boundaries and apparently racism runs rampant over there–undetected for years. How has everyone hidden their racism from the rest of us. I am so glad the Superintendent of your beloved new school district went and visited every classroom. Of course, when I asked students I know what he talked about, they were not quite sure. I think we should all follow my son’s example. He always chooses the African-American box on surveys because as he says: “They say all life originated in Africa so if I could follow our family line far enough I suppose it would be true.”

    I love you and wish we could actually pick up the phone at the same time–but our phone tag game is fun too!

  4. About the Bachelorette. . .
    Really? Are you going to blog about another season and turn me into a Bachelorette junky? Last season you blogged so entertainingly about crazy Michelle I started to watch just to know what you were talking about–I watched that darn show every week! I just don’t have time for that. I would have a paper to write and know I was going to probably be up most of the night–and yet I sit down and watch the episode because I wasn’t going to be successful writing while I wondering about Emily and Michelle. If you are going to blog the show, please make it boring enough that I don’t get addicted again.

  5. You haven’t blogged since March!!!!! You’re killing me!!

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