Archive for March, 2011

WHEW! I am NOT a racist!

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on March 26, 2011 by dunnthat

Since practically everyone who is Caucasian is now a racist if they ever say anything negative about someone who isn’t Caucasian, even when, and sometimes especially when, what is said has nothing to do with race, but rather, say, political policy or something insignificant like that, imagine my great surprise to find out that I have just enough minority blood in me to allow free speech.

It is a fact:  I am 1/16th Cherokee.  And proud of it.

I always wanted to be a Native American when I was growing up.  (Back then Native Americans were called something quite racist – apparently – but in actuality is simply a geographical mistake perpetuated by that horrible Caucasian Christopher Columbus, who I honestly don’t know if he was racist at all, since I don’t know him personally, but I choose to call him geographically challenged rather than racist – and honestly, I can’t find my way out of a paper bag myself, so I truly can’t call Columbus geographically challenged on a sliding scale since I’m the worst at directions and rely heavily on my in-dash GPS and sometimes don’t even trust that to get me where I’m going.  Just saying.)

ANYWAY…I read a lot of Westerns growing up and I thought the white man was despicable.  So I was thrilled to find out my true heritage when I was around fourteen years old.

100% 1/16th Cherokee.

Now.  I look really Caucasian.  So some people might be confused by my heritage.  So I have to point it out to them now – since discovering this fun fact:

Ashley Herbert is the new “Bachelorette.”

Yes.  Let’s all take a moment and yawn.

Eh.

Anyway, the show has been accused of being racist because they don’t have any minorities as kings or queens (the pickers).

Let me just say this about that:  Whatever your ethnicity, be glad if you choose to skip this experience.  You are the better for it.

But when I read the Deseret News article detailing the accusation, I saw this quote:

In the Entertainment Weekly interview, Fleiss said he believed the new “Bachelorette,” Ashley Hebert, was one-sixteenth “Cherokee Indian, but I cannot confirm. But that is my suspicion.”

YAY!  Finally, being 1/16th Cherokee has its benefits!

I should apply for minority funding on something.

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A word about personal space

Posted in Daily Bread on March 19, 2011 by dunnthat

I am just too old for close talking.  Within a foot I simply cannot see you.

You’re blurry.  Blurry blurry blurry.

Might I suggest you back up a foot?

What is it with people who invade personal space?  There exists an invisible bubble at least 18 inches all the way around me.

I’d appreciate it if you’d honor it.

Unless I approach you for a hug.  Hugs are okay.  I’m kind of a huggy person.

Which makes this whole personal space issue kind of weird.

But…there it is.

I was at Kohl’s returning something at Customer Service not too long ago, and this lady parked herself right on my bumper.

For your visual pleasure:  If I were to turn right or left, while standing in the same place, I would have hit her with my shoulder.

There were only about three of us in line for sobbing out loud.

Lady.  The line will go NO FASTER with you sitting in my back pocket.  And I promise, I will not let you lose your place.

Yeesh.

I almost gave her the NBA back/lean push-off.

The NBA push-off is socially acceptable when creepy people invade personal space.  No one can really fault a person for a little NBA shove in this instance.

No one.

Speaking of the NBA….  Remember those great Jazz seats?  Yeah, sorry to keep talking about them, but stuff keeps happening to me whilst I’m in them, hence, the repeated blog ref ad nauseam.

Anyway, those seats are, as I’ve stated before, rather pricey.

Therefore, I don’t think it’s asking a lot to be able to actually watch the game.

Agreed?

This was my view at the last game I went to:

This view occurs when the person (in this case, bald guy) leans forward in his/her seat, thus blocking the view of the poor unfortunate on the other side of him/her.

MUCH rather watch the game instead of this guy’s sweaty head.

Just sayin’.

Plus, he encroached upon my seat border:

Oh my GOSH!!!

Makes me want to punch someone in the FACE!

Rather than participate in any aforementioned Neanderthal behaviors, I’ll just blog about it.

Consistently inconsistent

Posted in Daily Bread on March 4, 2011 by dunnthat

Okay. Well I suck. I do realize this. As my therapist friend says, I am very self aware. 

I don’t know why I’ve been so awful at blogging. Because, believe me, I have a lot to say. And I’ve thought a lot about what I WOULD say if I were to write, but I just haven’t.  

Written.  That is. 

A couple of things have happened, including being gone a lot. Maybe that’s it. 

And a thought on being gone a lot…does anyone else find it kind of gross that every housekeeper at every hotel folds the toilet tissue into a point after they clean the bathroom?

I understand the why…it’s just that the last thing in the world I want touching my tender parts is a tissue that’s had someone’s toilet cleaning hands on. 

So I always unroll a lot of tissue and throw it away before I use it. 

Just sayin’.

Maybe it’s that I am obsessed with thoughts about Mini’s future, which is kind of a hot button right now. 

It’s good future, btw, not bad future. Just kind of scary for a mom who would seriously put little Mini in her pocket and carry him around for the rest of her life if she could. 

Maybe I’ll blog about that one day. Not today. 

Maybe it’s because I sort of got my butt chewed by someone I don’t know about a post I wrote about a stranger to me but who happened to be this butt chewer’s uncle.  

And I’m kind of afraid he might read this post as well. 

Because he was really angry. 

Like a lot. 

Needless to say, I offended him. The post wasn’t all that great in the first place, plus, gosh, I am too much of a “blue” personality to ever be okay with someone not liking me. 

Plus it kind of really scared the crap out of me. 

So I immediately deleted it.

So for those who make fun of me for remaining as anonymous as I am able to pull off, I will now accept your apologies and say to you, 

“SEE?????”

Yikes. 

The post was an “in the news” post. Ten points to whomever guesses which it was. 

Not you Anna. 

In the meantime, I will try to be better at being more consistent. 

For the sake of all mankind.