I love it when I vote and I get a sticker for my efforts. A sticker that says “I voted” for all to see that yes, indeed, I did my civic duty. I care enough about the issues of the world that I got in my car and drove myself down to the Baptist church, and I made my voice heard.
Thank you for the sticker. To show everyone that I am responsible. Because, why do great things unless you can show people how great you are?
So, yeah, I put the sticker on my shirt. Yes I did. Even though it clashed with what I was wearing. I wanted people to know, I’M RESPONSIBLE.
I voted early in the morning, and by early I mean 9:30 or so, but still, first thing, right? Anyway, I voted. Then I went to Target to buy Toy Story 3. Then I went to work. And I worked. Then I went to Target again because I forgot I wanted to buy the new Sound of Music on bluray. I couldn’t find it so I asked some lady in a red shirt with a tag for some help. Only she didn’t work at Target. She worked at an auto parts store.
Now why in the world would you go to Target wearing a red polo shirt with a tag for any reason?? Don’t you know that someone will think you work there? I even looked for a tag before I asked. Yeesh.
Obviously she couldn’t help me. So I found someone else. Who helped me. Find it.
Then I thought, “What in the world are you thinking?? You don’t need another copy of The Sound of Music.” Then I went to the credit union. Then I got in my car.
All day long. Proudly wearing my sticker.
Slight problem…any time I put any kind of sticker on my pec, you know, like those “Hello My Name Is…” stickers, I always have errant hairs that find the one spot of my sticker that has pulled away from my clothing.
And it pulls my hair. Not a great big rope of hair pull, mind you, but those one or two hairs that end up yanking out of my head whenever I turn to the right. GAH!
This went on all day. While I traveled the globe.
But yesterday, the most unusual thing happened. And I can’t explain it, other than to say it must have been…
Tangent: When I was young, and by young I mean junior high and even high school, I occasionally used to wake up in the morning not only diagonally situated on my double bed, but upside down on my bed.
And I distinctly remember thinking, when I die, I can’t wait to see the movie of my life to see how in the world I ended up so twisted up in my bed.
I’m not lying. Apparently I didn’t have a lot of real concerns or drama in my life then.
Yesterday caused me to revisit my secret desire to die in order to observe how in the world something weird happens.
Back to the story…After I left the credit union, mind you after I’ve seen the entire world, I realized that my “I voted” sticker had adhered itself, and by adhered itself I mean CEMENTED itself, to my neck just above my collarbone.
Not some potato chippy, barely hanging on adherence. This sticker was STUCK. As in, it hurt to peel it off.
“I voted.” On my neck. Upside down no less. For who knows how long.
I called the teller at the credit union. “Did I have an ‘I voted’ sticker on my neck when I came in?”
Laughing, “Yes.” “Why didn’t you tell me??” “I just thought you did it on purpose. Like it was some kind of weird fashion statement. And I didn’t want to judge.”
And for the life of me…HOW?? Did it catch on my hair one of those times and travel the road less traveled to my neck?
I can think of only one explanation: