Archive for October, 2010

Feeling old and unaccomplished

Posted in Daily Bread on October 28, 2010 by dunnthat

Now don’t call the psychiatrist just yet – hear me out…

Anyone else catch Dancing with the Stars last night?  Because, to be honest, it’s been a bore for me this year.  I love Chelsie Hightower – have ever since So You Think You Can Dance. 

But this year Chelsie had a yawner partner and was off in a hurry.  And the rest of the dancers?  Eh.

But I love Chelsie.  Local girl makes good and all that rot.  And you know what?  She’s still a nice, church-going girl.  Good for you, sweetie.  Marry one of my sons, aight?

Speaking of – LOTS of local talent has made it big in the dancing world lately.  We are a big dancing state I guess (Utah for those who don’t know).  And a dancing religion, even though “Footloose” might suggest otherwise.

And here’s a little claim to fame y’all…Julianne Hough asked Number Three to Sweethearts Dance when they were seniors.  She’s been to my house.

Yes she has.

And look at her now – is she still with Ryan Seacrest??  Who knows.

Who cares. 🙂  She wouldn’t be at all impressed that I remember she was here.  I am officially “little people.”

ANYWAY, I like to watch the elimination nights of DWTS because they have the professionals dance.  And friends, let me tell you, I have trouble walking without falling down much less dancing.  I make Elaine Benis from Seinfeld look good.

So, well, I appreciate good dancing.  Doesn’t mean I know jack about it, but I think I know what I like.  I think.

Back to last night (have you ever noticed how difficult it is for me to get to a point??) … DWTS had a FABULOUS blast from my past for sure with the performance of “Barracuda” by Heart.  Has always been one of the best chick rock songs of all time.

Ann and Nancy Wilson. Rockin’ it. Like it’s 2010 y’all.

Love the 70s hair.  Don’t lie – you know you did it, too:

I actually was kind of known for my hair in high school, in case you want to know.  I had a perm, and I would blowdry the crap out of that massive mane…upside down.  Then…FLIP back upright and hot roller that mess into submission.  Wait until cool, then out the rollers come.  Then FLIP back upside down and BRUSH BRUSH BRUSH.  FLIP – up again, and gently pick the hair into Farrah Fawcett perfection so as not to lose the impressive volume I’d just created.  Aerosol spray shellack until gagging.  Out the door, ready for my close up.

Ah.  Good times.

FOCUS…FOCUS…

The dancing to “Barracuda” was off the hook, too.  And my cute Chelsie was one of the dancers.  She’s the one with the straight blond hair, in case you didn’t know.

ANYWAY…Heart was around when I was in high school – ancient days of yore – and there was Ann belting the crap out of that song, and I thought, “Holy cow – she’s got to be my age!  Look at her go!”

Seriously, no one can belt like Ann.  That I can think of.

And Nancy was right beside her looking trim in top hat and tails, working that guitar and jumping her brains out.

Now look, the years haven’t been as good to Ann as they have been to Nancy apparently.  But these days it’s a plus when rockers start to die of old age, ya know?  So I don’t care, Ann.  I think you freakin’ ROCK.

I had to know…Google me shocked:  Ladies and gentlemans, Nancy…is FIFTY-SIX years old.  And jumping around like she’s 15.

And the belter Ann?  SIXTY.  6-0.

And that is why I feel old.  And unaccomplished.

Rock on ladies.  Rock the freak on.

EDIT: OH MY GOSH!!  I just realized I got their names mixed up.  I fixed it now.  If you noticed, you’ll now notice I did it right.  If you didn’t, nevermind.  And if you did notice but chose to let it pass – thank you. 🙂

It’s a wonder they ever had kids

Posted in Daily Bread on October 22, 2010 by dunnthat

So I’m trying to clean up the old TIVO.  Work work work. 

I love me some Jane Austen.  LOVE.  But as I read and/or watch her vision, I can’t help but wonder how on earth two people in love EVER get together.  Propriety and all that rot.

No one ever really says how they feel about the opposite sex.  There’s this weird dance that takes forever to finish.  I guess that’s what makes Jane, well, Jane.

And her masterpiece?  Pride and Prejudice.  The best novel on the planet.  BAR NONE.  It is perfect in every way.  And I don’t mind the dance.  Because the finale is worth, dare I say, even enhanced, by the long dance.

There hasn’t been a true theatrical depiction of this novel that I haven’t loved.  Even the too-short Keira Knightley version.

Which still gives me the shivers.

I love, I love, I love you, too, Mr. Darcy.

Sigh.

But…a more recent revisiting of the masterful Austen has left me, well, kind of nauseated.

Persuasion.  Okay, probably not her best, and I shouldn’t judge her for one misstep, but JEEZ.  A whole book could have been avoided if the two characters, who once did love each other, just had a TALK for crying out loud.

Instead they spend the entire book/movie feeling what they’re feeling and wondering what the other is feeling.  It’s really tiresome.

So then, for the stout-hearted, we finally reach the conclusion, only to be left with, without doubt, the WORST screen kiss in history.  The character Anne has something gross going on in her mouth.  She keeps making bridges with her spit, and to be honest, I can’t believe the guy ever kissed her at all with all that goop going on.

Gross.

But the actress, or director, or WHOMEVER made the awful decision, thought that a prolonged approach to final connection would be, I don’t know, sexy? 

It is not.

Several weeks ago a good friend sent me this clip mashup of, without question, this worst screen kiss of all time.

And truly, the joke still doesn’t make the kiss tolerable.  But, you might laugh.  Give it a try.  And keep in mind, all the pauses where the scene shifts away from the kiss are counted in the music, so the length of the approach is STILL THERE even though the scene changes.

Horrible.  Just horrible.

Got Milk?

Posted in Daily Bread on October 18, 2010 by dunnthat

Last Saturday my darling daughters-in-law invited yours truly to a chick flick date.  You have to understand how FOREIGN this is for me.  Since I’ve been married I’ve never really had women in my life!

For example, at dinner last Sunday, there was a LOT of food spraying going on that my home just really hasn’t experienced before.  Spray butter, spray salad dressing….you know.

So there we all three were spraying our food at the same time, and I just had to laugh.  And, I’m just so, so happy for the infusion of estrogen and the dieting habits of women in general.  At my table. 

Sigh of happiness…

ANYWAY, we saw the movie You Again with Kristen Bell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver, and the AMAZING Kristen Chenoweth – among other incredibly talented actors.

I give the film two enthusiastic thumbs up.  We laughed until we cried (especially during the dance scene, for those of you who’ve seen it – and if you haven’t – GO!).  Another favorite line that just killed, “Don’t do it!  So… many… carbs!” 

Good times…

[Caveat – the final 1/4 of the movie got all sappy and corny – had to be done I guess, but not nearly as fun as the first 3/4.  Just in case you see it and then blame me for the last 1/4.  I warned you…]

I love having women in my life.  Thank you ladies for an amazing day, and for making me feel a part of your lives.  Awesomeness.

We were also treated to a lovely sight as we were leaving the parking lot.  To our left was a vehicle with a cartoon character of a woman with very, very large, uh …mammaries… vinyled onto the window.  Said woman was in a sitting position and squeezing said mammaries with both hands.

The caption:  Got Milk?

Charming.  So, so inspiring.

But here’s the thing…the vehicle?

A minivan.

What a great example for the kids.  His mother must be so proud…

The thrill of the deal

Posted in Daily Bread on October 16, 2010 by dunnthat

As you know, like, a lot, I LOVE a deal.  Last Sunday I wore a darling black satin pencil skirt to church that received MULTIPLE compliments. 

$9.18.

Two weeks before, AWESOME shoes.  More compliments.

$9.99.  Delievered.  To my door.

I KNOW, right?  I wish I could show you photos, but they are no longer online (clearance items) and I’m too wrapped up in myself to go take some.  But trust me, super cute.

What in the world is my point?  Well.  Sometimes a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.  And sometimes what that girl’s got to do isn’t on sale.

I watched Letters to Juliet a couple of weeks ago.  I know – I’m behind.  That’s just the way my life is going now.

Anyway…

So I’m watching the movie, and the main character, Juliet, played by Amanda Seyfried, has this bag. 

I have to explain.  I’m not much of a purse person.  If I didn’t have to carry stuff, I wouldn’t have one at all.  I’m not much into fashion, and purses that should impress me often…don’t.  If I could get away with a backpack purse, I would. 

And I have.

But apparently I now have a little more pride than that.

For a lot of years I have been on a quest for the bag I imagined in my head.  I have bought several purses trying to replicate the bag in my mind.

Here’s the bag in my mind:  Brown, soft leather, cross body, (because I can’t be bothered with trying to keep it on my shoulder…so annoying), kind of like a book bag but not too big. 

To be honest, kind of like a saddle bag on a horse.

NOW.  Letters to Juliet… The main character…HAD THAT BAG!!!  Here it is:

And…

I know, right??

And I had to have it.  So I googled “letters to juliet bag” and BAM!  Tons of hits. 

Apparently I’m not the only one who likes the bag.

Here’s what I found out:  It’s made by Roots.  It’s sold out online.  Has been and continues to be sold out (again…slow to get on the Letters to Juliet boat – and that hurt my bag search).  Here is the description of the bag from Roots:

The Small School Bag is made in Canada from 100% Italian Tribe Leather. The main compartment is lined, with a double buckle closure, and front flap for added security. Adjustable shoulder strap and handle for easy carrying. Interior lining divider.

  • – Created and Hand-Crafted in Canada
  • – Tribe Leather is exclusive to Roots
  • – Manufactured with expert Italian craftsmanship
  • – Becomes softer and richer with age
  • – Hand rubbed to give a distinct vintage look that will never crack or fade
  • – Adjustable Shoulder Strap: 29″ – 50″
  • – Approximate dimensions: 14″(L) x 11″(H) x 2.5″(D)

And it’s not ten dollars.

So I called the Roots store in Park City.  I was put on hold while the guy looked for it.  But apparently, as a very VERY good salesman, he didn’t just check his store, which was sold out, but called Beverly Hills.

Who had the bag.

And…I bought it.  No sale.  No discount.  Had to pay Beverly Hills tax and shipping charges.

I now have my dream bag.  It’s soft.  Like, I could sleep on it soft.  It’s the right color, the right size, and it’s, just…PERFECT.

TOTALLY WORTH IT!!

I want to marry it.