Archive for April, 2010

Serves him right

Posted in In the News on April 30, 2010 by dunnthat

Some lame guy had the nerve to call Anna Godfrey “fat” at a party in Lincoln, Nebraska.

So she tackled him and bit off a chunk of his right ear.

They never found the chunk.

Question:  Did Anna just get fatter?

Advertisements

New Moon/Old Moon

Posted in Daily Bread on April 28, 2010 by dunnthat

Oh how I love “The People of Walmart.”

  

Jazz Spazz

Posted in Daily Bread on April 24, 2010 by dunnthat

Dear pasty white guy with the flappy arms, protruding gut and full-on Jazz uniform with white head band who danced in a very scary way right in front of me at the Jazz game last night:

All attention is not good.  You must learn this.  Pronto.

Your facial expressions when you jerk around are scary and weird.  Try smiling more.

I could understand your behavior – and even forgive your behavior – if you were “special.”  I truly thought you were.

I was told… you are not.

Sad.

It is heartbreaking that you crave attention more than you crave normalcy. 

And I really wish you weren’t RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME distracting me from the very beautiful Kyle Korver.

(OH MY he’s pretty.)

You are not.

I tried to join in and dance like I was special. 

I am not.  I failed.

That is me in the white shirt and black belt behind you spazz dancing (how the H**L did I come off looking SO FAT??).  Husband is next to me.  We think you’re dumb. 

As our friend who was stuck sitting next to you so eloquently put it, “I paid an effing lot of money to come to this effing game.  You stand up in front of me again I’m going to break your effing face off.  So sit your a** down in your effing seat.”

We’re not super good friends. 

Obviously.

Because he doesn’t letter swear.

Btw, I’d love to know…how in the WORLD did you get that floor ticket?? I understand you’re there every game trying to “get on TV.”

Please save me from you ever ever again.

Warmly,

Me 

P.S.  Thanks for shaving under your arms.  Very considerate of you.  And sad that you had the foresight to do this.

They can’t all be good

Posted in Daily Bread on April 21, 2010 by dunnthat

This week’s Glee review is less than enthusiastic.  A tribute to Madonna.  Ugh.

As you may know, I’m not a fan.

Tonight’s episode channeled Madonna power to entice no fewer than three characters to lose their virginity.

Lovely.

Yeah, this episode would be excluded from the CK (Celestial Kingdom) tour…(read the comments)

So instead of lamenting the disappointing episode, I’m going to post Glee videos for as long as Fox lets them stand.

And, share the best line from last night by the same character I’ve grown to love:  “When I pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist.”

Hello Goodbye:

Halo/Walking On Sunshine Girls Mash-Up Video

Take a Bow

Sweet Caroline

Not really my favorites, but videos are hard to find…get them before they’re gone …

True to life

Posted in In the News on April 20, 2010 by dunnthat

Each of these news stories could be their own blog.  But if I posted them separately they’d all be old news by the time I got them all posted.  Grab a beverage and prepare for a longie…

I may or may not post links.  Links are really labor intensive. 

  • In honor of April 15th:  47% of Americans pay zero taxes.  Zero.  Let’s make sure we continue to provide tax breaks for these unfortunate people who are over-burdened with tax liabilities.  I’m tired of the people who pay .6% of their salaries in charitable donations (Joe Biden) telling me how selfish I am for wanting to keep more of my increase, which I have earned through ambition and sweat.  And that’s as political as you’ll see me get here.  But I hate injustice.  Like a lot.
  • And for those of you who are delighted to get tax refunds…just realize that you are getting a refund simply because you paid too much during the year.  Not because you’re getting anything “back.”
  • Batten down the hatches people…I don’t remember reading so much about earthquake frequency in the world as I have in the last few months.  Hang on.
  • It seems that dating hot women is getting more and more difficult in Provo.  One young man forgot his manners when he used a stun gun to subdue and then handcuff an unsuspecting young lady at their apartment complex.  Sad facts:  Both BYU students, and he was her Home Teacher.  Creep factor:  10/10.  Smart girl bit down on his finger until he let her go.  GIRL POWER!  When caught, this dipwad claimed it was just an “April Fool’s joke.”  Dude.  Learn to count.  It was April 6th.
  • The Deseret News published a ditty about aging with a photo that made me want to poke my eyes out.  I have no idea what they did to alter the photo, but it was SCARY!  Check out the woman on the bottom right…I NEVER want to get old now!  Yikes!
  • I have no idea who this woman is, but I’m puzzled by her family’s choice in obituary photo.  Of all the photos they’ve gathered over her long and industrious life, her children chose this image of her in apparent mid-sentence:
  • Um, what?
  • And finally, a personal favorite out of Colorado.  Boulder City decided to exclude female toplessness from its ban on public nudity when petitioned by a 52-year-old chick who enjoys gardening in a thong.  And nothing else.  So so many thoughts.  But, seriously?  Why is it never anyone we want to see nude?  (Remember this post?)  Lady…lady… Do yourself and US a favor…COVER UP!  Ew.

GLEE is BACK!!

Posted in Daily Bread on April 14, 2010 by dunnthat

Okay, lame that I would get so excited about a television show, but go with me here for a short ride.  First of all…just listen to this song as you read the post.  Fox Television doesn’t let youtube post clips – at least not for very long (they’re up and then *poof* they’re gone).  So this youtube clip is just the music with a still shot.

Beatles:  Hello Goodbye

OH MY GOSH I love this show.  So happens, apparently I love music (judging from the last two posts in a row).  Let me just say this…my high school choir never sounded like this.  I just love the musicality and the arrangements.

When you finish with Hello Goodbye, give this one a shot:

The Doors:  Hello I Love You

LOVE!

Best line from last night:  Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

Just random.  And from some secondary character.  Such a great show.

Same cheerleader character a scene later responds to “Anything else?” with “Sometimes I forget my middle name.”

I…LOVE…RANDOM!

So GLEE got me to thinking…do you think that we’ll have great music like this in heaven?  Now don’t get all Mormon Tab on me, because in the right mood I can do a little MoTab.  But not usually.

And certainly not ALWAYS.

Think about the artists that are bringing us this really great music.  Will these guys be in the Celestial Kingdom?

Of course, I’m making a huge assumption that I’ll be there.  But you know, I’m trying…and I’ve come to realize that God’s grace is kind of a really cool thing and that if I really want to make it to the Celestial Kingdom, I think God wants me there, too.  And He’ll help me get there.  If I just try.

I digress.

So.  All these great artists.  The choreographers, the lyricists, the performers, the musicians… Bringing us all this amazing music.  Let’s include MUSE in this while we’re at it. 

Do you think they’ll be in heaven?  Because I need me some awesome music to enjoy the fullness of joy.

I’m just sayin’.

So these artists…in general, not really living the kind of lives that would be conducive to dwelling with God 24/7. 

Sad.

So then I thought…hey…we have Gladys Knight.  They don’t get too much more amazing than Gladys Knight Queen of Motown.  Maybe Ms. Knight will be in charge of music.

But I’ve heard her spiritual choir, and while a great big step up from the stuff I had to listen to when I was a teenager (you guys have no idea how great you have it now with LDS music and books…we were stuck with Charly as the pinnacle of out-of-the-box romance…ugh) they’re still no Beatles.  Or MUSE.  Or Glee for that matter.

Still great.  I would NEVER diss Gladys.

But I need a variety of greatness.  I need GLEE.  I need MUSE.

I’m sending the missionaries to Fox asap.

Worth the sacrifice…no matter what

Posted in Daily Bread on April 11, 2010 by dunnthat

Is there any event that would motivate you to miss something else really important?

A couple of examples…when I was younger I used to joke that if Earth, Wind & Fire were in concert while I was on my honeymoon I’d cut my honeymoon short to go to their concert.  Look, I know you probably think they’re lame, but back in the day they really rocked my boat.  They were MUSICIANS, you know?  Lots of brass (I used to play the trumpet and French horn…I KNOW) and great head bangin’.

Check them out from 1988

I made this proclamation before I met my husband and before a honeymoon was actually in the realm of possibility.

After we got married, amazing husband took me to Earth, Wind & Fire

Turns out, this is a band that is better on the radio.  At least for me.  Glad I didn’t sacrifice anything for that one.  Sigh.

I have a son who is so in love with H.I.M. that he and his wife will celebrate their second anniversary at their concert.  This is true love on the wife’s part.  Yay for love.

I actually like H.I.M. okay.  Even though HIM stands for “His Infernal Majesty” and one of their songs is called “My Sweet 666.”  Sigh.  They do have a cool sounding song that I used as background for a water skiing video of Number Three.  It’s spectacular.  You just pretty much have to not listen to the words, which propose the most exciting possibility of a young couple killing themselves.  Together. 

Ah.  Sweet.

If you’re interested, here is “Join Me In Death.”

Apparently H.I.M. has changed its sound.  I think the band might have found God because they now sound like Dashboard Confessional or some other happy band.  Good for them.

At this moment in my life, there IS a band that’s worth the sacrifice…no matter what.  And let me tell you, last week I made a HUGE sacrifice to be there to experience them…AGAIN.

MUSE

Oh…my…GOSH… I LOVE MUSE!!  Now, here is a band that is actually BETTER live.  I was lucky enough to see them in concert two years ago at UVSC, and I was there last Monday for their sold-out concert at the E Center…with Number Four and Mini as well as my niece and her parents, (my brother and his wife).

First of all, these guys don’t use foul language in their music.  How nice.  And their songs aren’t disgusting.  Also nice.  And…I LOVE them!

Matt Bellamy is an incredible talent on the guitar.  And seriously, these guys are TRUE MUSICIANS.  Bellamy’s piano work is also freakishly good.  And what I love is that whenever he steps to the piano to play the audience goes wild.  Like they know and appreciate good music and talent.

For almost two hours MUSE just played music.  No talking.  Just music.  Non-stop.  DANG!  I hope if you ever get the chance to go to MUSE, you take it.

Here are some photos my niece took:

And, if you’re still reading and interested, this is my favorite MUSE song, though I love THEM ALL: Time is Running Out.

I took a few photos of my own.  And truly, these little gems could be their own blog. 

I saw this guy at the concert and I couldn’t stop snapping photos of him with my cell phone.  This guy truly committed to his rocker image with the hair-loss mohawk.  ROCK ON DUDE!

This just boosted my MUSE experience by half. 

You go, mister.

For another MUSE favorite…here is my favorite from their most recent album:  Undisclosed Desires