I can’t even tell you how many arguments I’ve lost with my kids because they are too freakin’ smart.
Just last week I had a bout with Number Three that was so typical yet so funny that I had to tell you about it. I’ll save it for last.
Past arguments I’ve lost because my children are smart: When Number One was nearing the magic age of sixteen, I gently reminded him, “It will be super sad if you turn sixteen and can’t get your driver’s license because you don’t have your Eagle Scout. Especially since we have a car waiting for you to drive and everything.”
Number One, “Okay. Sure. I could get my Eagle Scout according to your parameters, but I would be getting the award for you and not for me and it would be nothing I would be proud of. Or, you could let me do it in my own time so it has more meaning. Whatever.”
Number One got his car at sixteen and his Eagle Scout the night before he turned eighteen.
Furthermore, husband promised Second Son that if he got his Eagle Scout before Number One, husband would give Second Son $100.
Number One says to Second Son, “Tell you what. I’ll let you get your Eagle before me and we can split the $100.”
Second Son was fourteen years old. I found out that he went downtown with his also fourteen-year-old friend. And, oh, yes, friend was driving.
I was LIVID. When Second Son finally answered my numerous phone calls I said, “Is there something you want to tell me?”
He said, “Nope. No, there isn’t.”
“I think you might want to re-think that answer.”
“Nope. That’s the answer I’m sticking with.”
See…because he didn’t “want” to tell me anything. Get it? He didn’t lie.
Recently Number Four and I (new missionary!) had a detailed argument about curfew. It was difficult for him to accept “Because I’m the mom, that’s why” when he argued his case that he was an adult and shouldn’t be monitored quite so tightly.
That story isn’t interesting, but it’s all I could think of regarding Number Four. And seriously, any time I’ve ever argued with him it’s a head banger.
And, of course, Mini never argues with me. Ever.
BUT – I’ve saved the very best story for last. And this one astounded even me.
Number Three seems to argue with me … about EVERYTHING. Surely that isn’t true, but it sure feels like it.
Last week I’d just had it with bashing heads about every…single…thing… And so I said, “I swear, you would argue with me if I said the sun rose in the east.”
And without taking so much as a deep breath he said, “Technically it doesn’t rise. The horizon falls.”
And I could not stop laughing. Because A) He actually did argue with me, and B) He’s right!! (See, the sun remains stationary while the earth rotates on its axis while it circles the sun.)