Archive for February, 2010

My nod to commercials I love

Posted in Daily Bread on February 25, 2010 by dunnthat

Generally I’m not too fond of commercials.  Okay, I am almost ALWAYS not fond of commercials.  Any time I feel attempts to manipulate me, I balk. 

Across the board.

DVR is a gift from television heaven… I don’t remember the last time I was forced to watch a commercial.

But if a commercial makes me laugh, booyah

Which is why I love the Super Bowl.  Was there a football game?  Perhaps…

Recently I’ve linked two funny commercials to a post:  The view from over here and Die Mice Die!!  I honestly never get tired of the mouse one.  I watched it three times last night. 

And I still laugh.  And… BONUS:  I remember what the commercial is advertising (strong cheese).  Which, to be honest, doesn’t always happen.

So here’s my nod to commercials I love.  Commercials that have made me laugh.  A lot.

From the Super Bowl, Best in Show (in my opinion):

“Nice pants Terry.”

I think my favorite scene – and it’s hard to choose – is the old guy in the bathroom fluffing his chest hair.

This one is getting a lot of air time on TV right now.  I first saw it as a link from someone on facebook.  There is nothing about this commercial I don’t love:

“I’m on a horse.”

The interest in this actor has skyrocketed since this campaign.  Good for him!  He’s pretty.

And, as an FYI, this ad was shot in one continuous take, with no CGI except for the diamonds flowing from his hand.  If you want to see how they did this, (including how he gets on a horse), this video is rather lengthy, but interesting:

 

And an offering from my daughter-in-law.  I LOVE this one…it even made me baby hungry:

“You ever catch a minced fish??”

I hope this little girl doesn’t grow up to be a Hollywood brat like so many do.  But for now, I could eat her with a spoon.

Oh, and P.S.  I got my wish.  I’m sick.  Sick sick sick.  Though probably not the lose weight kind of sick.

Crud.

Advertisements

I’m experiencing fat

Posted in Daily Bread on February 23, 2010 by dunnthat

Yesterday I went to a company “life coach” type meeting.  There was a LOT of information.  The meeting was FOUR hours PLUS long.  I know there were MASSIVE AMOUNTS of valuable information to be had.

But let me remind you…I am pretty sure I’m A.D.D. 

Or, my self-diagnosis is really just a great excuse for bad behavior, as number three constantly tells me.

Regardless…

So, after 4 1/2 hours of life coaching, this is what I came away with:

The guy said, “It is impossible to ‘have’ a headache.   You can’t ‘give’ your headache to someone. [Here he mimes handing an imaginary headache to someone else.]

“What is actually happening is that you are ‘experiencing pain in your head.'”

Seriously.  This is what I took from that entire thing. 

Let me be clear – this is MY problem.  Mea culpa.

My bad.

So…in taking this concept home with me, I decided that I’m “experiencing fat.”  In my fanny.

I’m experiencing fat in MULTIPLE places, but none sound as funny as “fanny.”

Just sayin’.

I am on the “wedding diet.”  I am desperate to lose the weight I gained after the last wedding in our family.  But it doesn’t seem to be coming off as easily as it did two years ago.  I’m doing the same things and … nothing.

I am now attributing this issue to menopause.  What else can I attribute it to?  Because I’ll tell you what…I can eat what I want and not lose weight.

Geez.

But I fear I may suffer from body dysmorphic disorder.  Let me explain…

Anna was sweet enough to let me come with her and her mother to shop for wedding dresses.

I KNOW!

So so fun.  Anyway, here is this most gorgeous girl all corsetted up in her dress, and she looks TEENY

And tear-worthy for moms if I’m being honest.

Now, in the past, I have noticed that Anna seems to be losing weight, so I asked her what she’s doing.

She said, “I’d love to say it’s something I’m doing.  But I think I’m just not healthy.”

And all I could think was, “You look AMAZING.” 

And, “How might I get that?”

Yep.  I’m kind of warped.

But I was watching the dress-trying-on thing, and seriously, she does look fabulous…and I’m sorry if you don’t feel well Anna – I really am, and I will LOVE YOU if you gain 100 pounds…but for today… DAMN GIRL!

DAMN.

And as Anna is trying on this dress, I’m thinking, there is no corset in the world that will help my cause.  Science dictates that the excess has to go somewhere, (displacement), and there is just no corset that goes from head to toe (leaving, I presume, a big old fat head and fat feet).

So I’m picturing me in a corset.  And this is what I think I would look like turned sideways…

I would look like an airplane seat.  Go with me on this…

The big old puffy breast area would be the head rest.  And just below the corset would be a nice pooffy shelf to sit on…in the, you know, uterine area (if I had a uterus).

Then, I could extend my arms for a lovely arm rest.  And I could even turn my palms skyward and the arm rest could have interlocking fingers with its occupant.

I think my seat would be the favorite seat because it would be so squishy.

And kind of snuggly.  What with the whole hand-holding thing.

This just doesn’s sound comfortable for the sit-ee, so I guess I’ll just stick to diet and exercise and skip the corset.

Dangit.

Comments on your comments

Posted in Daily Bread on February 18, 2010 by dunnthat

So, I’ve gotten way behind again on acknowledging your comments.  Shame on me.  I’m so behind that I’ve been wanting to do a comments on your comments blog for a long time, yet because I’m so behind I know it’s going to take a long time so I wait until I have a long time and then I get more behind because I’m so behind.

Sigh.

But today, I did not go to the gym.  That’s all I can say about that.  Therefore, I feel I have some time that I should be somewhat productive.  If you can call commenting on your comments productive.

It just seems that you guys kind of like that, so I’m going to call it productive, if you don’t mind.

Here goes:

From Shopping Tourette’s Syndrome:

  • CM:  Yes, I am offended that you called me a sucker.  Gosh, what kind of friend are you??  🙂  Okay, so maybe I get sucked in.  That does make me a sucker.  Because of the sucking.  But your Christmas gift from me was a result of that trip to Kohl’s.  Just sayin’.
  • Andrea:  We are twins separated at birth.  Just went again last night.  30% off, PLUS I had Kohl’s cash from last week’s trip, SO I got 30% off of stuff I bought with cash they gave me.  SCORE!
  • Anna:  LOVED our Kohl’s experience together.  Too late for Christmas.  But can you see the glory of the place??
  • Stephanie:  I’ll go to Kohl’s with you any time and show you the ropes.
  • Amy:  See??  See??  You have a beautiful coat for $25 and you no longer look homeless.  I’m so happy for your Kohl’s experience.  P.S.  You never look homeless.  Geez.

From Elf on the Shelf:

  • I love it when people agree with me.  LOVE.  Thanks to you all.  We are all on the same page:  Elf on the Shelf is creepy.  Except Erin.  Who somehow finds it useful.  Just so you know, your children will have nightmares.  And Tish, when you invent the next big Elf, I hope you remember the little people who were there for you all along the way.

From A good flossing, once a day:

  • Andrea:  You know I have no boundaries.  None.  Glad you enjoyed it.  And ESPECIALLY happy that you share some of my posts with your husband…this is super flattering.
  • Amelia:  SO GLAD you’re here!  You should have a massage.  They totally rock.  Flossing is optional.
  • Dad:  You kill me…you really do.  Do you all see where I get my no boundaries thing from??  I’m so glad he stopped short of the goods.  But to be honest, it sounds like everything he did, short of going so high on your thigh, is pretty standard.  I just wouldn’t EVER go to someone I know, just as I won’t go to the OB/GYN in my ward.  Just…no.
  • Anna:  I do not understand bum floss on purpose.  Never have.  Ick.  That is a place that should never be flossed.
  • CM:  This experience has not kept me from my usual happiness in massages.  I’m willing to risk it.  Seriously, this never happens.  Well, except this time.  And what a great story from it!  So it’s a win/win/win.
  • Emily:  That was my dad.  Yep.  Yep.
  • Tish:  Glad I didn’t creep you out this one time.
  • Amy:  Give the American massage a try.  I had a Korean body scrub once that left me scarred for life.  I will blog about it one day.  It’s like this post – it will be long and take me some time so I keep postponing.  Grrr.

From Random Thoughts:

  • Yay Courtnie!  By the way – where have you been?  Such a great story.  I’m more familiar with the book and PBS movie than the musical…I need to see that again.
  • Andrea:  I knew you knew.  Duh.  FYI – it was not a pleasant tingly.  At all.
  • Emily:  Right back at ya.
  • Dad:  I can always count on you.  Loved the ending – mother pig can’t nurse, but serves her purpose as dinner.
  • CM: Still loving the knives.
  • Troy:  I’m sure you need to talk to your Bishop on a weekly basis.  Just sayin’.  And joking.  Duh.

From Girl Crushes:

  • This post got out of hand.  Sorry.  But Kate…I don’t talk to you EVERY DAY and share EVERY DETAIL about what’s going on in my life.  Emily and I do…and then she told me in a newsletter.  THAT was the issue.  You’re safe.

From My Hot Pocket:

  • This post is still embarrassing to me.  I’m still watching…And, I have spoilers…And, I’m not happy…And, I still watch.  I hate myself.
  • Amelia: You will not like how it ends.  Let me know if you want to know.
  • Andrea:  Sorry you got sucked into Toddlers and Tiaras…but glad you understand.  I truly AM dumber now.  I don’t know if I can call this a guilty pleasure because it’s no pleasure.  What’s that?  A guilty misery?  A miserable misery?  Gah.
  • Anna:  Consider yourself blessed to be missing it.
  • Erin:  I wish we were the same person!  Because you…are…AWESOME!  Love you!
  • Kate:  Still watching?  Who was your patient?  And, I’m sorry you were caught in the vortex as well.
  • Stephanie:  I hear ya, sister.  Stupid show.
  • Tish:  I am sorely ashamed.

From I’m going to die from Hantavirus:

  • CM:  Glad your mouse had a peanut butter heart attack.  Serves her right.  Her and her little babies, too. (That was kind of Wizard of Oz-y in my head…didn’t translate very well.)
  • Anna:  I once had a kitty for mice.  She was a great mouser.  And a slut.  Kept having kittens.  So we “fixed” her.  Then we got a new dog and after that the kitty was nowhere to be found.  What?  What? As you say, Circle of Life.  I was so annoyed because we’d put money into this cat, and then…poof.
  • Emily:  Thanks for the mouse head heads up.  And yes, I had no problem whatsoever continuing my life while the nasty mouse died.  To be honest, though, I’m pretty sure it died immediately and not during the blood spattering part of its circle of life.
  • Victor:  Seriously one of my favorite stories ever.  I would love to have seen that in person.

From I am a Rock Star:

  1. No I’m not.
  2. Thanks for thinking I am.
  3. The purpose of this post was to let you know what a bargain I am, due to my unpopularity.
  4. Pesos are accepted.

From yet another Random Thoughts:

  • Follow-up:  Hot flashes are subsiding as I work out more.  I’m chalking up my brain loss to menopause.  I love being a girl.  Thanks for all your kind thoughts.

From Dementia at 49:

  • Emily:  What happened to our “circle of trust”?  You must forget this, as I forget EVERYTHING.
  • Mary:  I miss you.  A lot.  Thanks for stopping by.  And you’re not losing your mind.  You’re one of the smartest people I know.  There.

From Guest Blogger:  Anna:

  • Erin, Emily, CM, and Roxanne:  I know, right?  We are so lucky.
  • Andrea:  I think I rival most with my jumping up and down.  And, loved the grammar correction.  You’re a nerd. (Join the club.)
  • Serena:  Thanks for stopping by!  And…you commented!  Awesome.  I am looking forward to meeting you – and all Anna’s friends.  We have waited a very long time for Anna.
  • Emily H:  YES!  She radiates happy!  Perfect.  I’m so glad you’re here…and you read my blog.  I’m honored.  I can’t wait to meet you.
  • Amelia: (Amelia is Emily’s twin – cool, huh?) SO glad you’re here.  I waited to post until Anna could post. Because, you know, it wasn’t my announcement to make.  Thanks to you and your family for your kind comments.  I hope you feel the same after we meet.
  • Carolyn:  I feel like I already know you.  Thanks for the comment.  Snaps to your adorable son.  We feel the same about Anna – this was different from the start.  We are so excited!!!
  • Kate:  I love you.  So much! Thanks sweetie.  We feel so so lucky around here.  And thanks for being there for all my angst.  See?  It all worked out after all…
  • Tish:  I expect you to wear your Team Anna t-shirt to the reception.  Anna – Tish had a Team Anna t-shirt made months and months ago.  She wants to be your bff.  Can’t wait for you two to meet.
  • Emily:  Also one of the early fans of Anna.  Whew!  Can you believe it??

From The view from over here:

  • Emily H:  You would be shocked as to how much I remember about their dating experiences.  Goodness, it’s been a long movie, right?
  • Dad:  I’m so happy you love Anna, too.  Lots of loving going around.  Btw, don’t call me granny.  Ever.  Or I will call you Gramps.  And you will LOVE being a Great Grandpa.
  • Victor:  Proving that my attempt at anonymity is lame.  Thank you so very much :).  What a lovely review of the dunnthat family.  Thank you so much.  Right back at ya.
  • Anna:  Would it be redundant to tell you again how happy we all are?  Yes?  Okay.  Nevermind.

From Die Mice Die!!:

  • Stephanie, Roxanne and CM:  Thanks for your comments here.  What more can be said at this point?  Glad you liked the video.  I still love it and watch it over and over.  Makes me laugh… Every.  Time.  Speaks to my simplicity.  Here’s to the death of all mice who attempt to come “inside.”  DIE!!

Is anyone still reading? 

No?

Crickets….crickets…

Die Mice Die!!

Posted in Daily Bread on February 15, 2010 by dunnthat

Time for a mouse follow-up.  As you know, mice rudely invaded my home.

Good news:  All gone.  Gone gone gone.  Good riddance, and I hope you find happiness in mouse heaven.

Because you surely won’t find it under my sink.

Thanks for your mouse stories.  Victor, I am shocked and surprised at your mousecapades.  First of all, NINE CATS??  I’m going to let that go.  But your story of beating the tar out of your rat-like creature, picking it up, and then having it spring back to life made me laugh right out loud.  And the fact that you beat the tar out of it all over again…priceless.

If you guys haven’t read it, look at the comments from that post.  Hysterical.

By way of introduction, Victor is a friend we met in Mexico years ago.  And a new reader to my blog.  Welcome!

And Troy.  Ah, Troy.  Sent me a great follow-up to my post.  I must leave it with you all as a parting gift to mouse-haters everywhere.

And CM, this video may explain how your mouse is eating the peanut butter yet still living to scurry another day.

Give the video a chance…watch the entire thing.  You’ll be glad you did.

The view from over here

Posted in Daily Bread on February 13, 2010 by dunnthat

For those traveling to my blog from Anna’s blog looking for her announcement, it’s the post before this one.

It has been my plan of attack on this blog to remain mostly anonymous, except for those of you who know me anyway.  I accept that this is probably pretty dumb, because anyone who wants to know who I am doesn’t need an advanced degree to figure it out.  But still, I try.  And I try to leave my kids names out of my blog to protect their anonymity as well.  Again, probably pointless.

But here’s the thing, if you want to see Anna and her fiancé, you can go to her blog to view an adorable picture of preciousness.

Plus, Anna and I have a bet as to which one of us gets more traffic from the other one.  Help me out peeps.

Now, I’m going to give you the story from over here.  Many of you have asked me why it took me so long to make this announcement, knowing how long I’ve waited for this blessed event.  Here’s the answer:  It wasn’t my announcement to make.  I had to wait for facebook status updates and their own proclamations.  Plus, I wanted Anna to announce it here, and she’s been sort of busy.

I do realize the love shared by Number 1 and Anna has little or nothing to do with ME, but I do have a point of view, and this is, after all, my blog…so buckle up.

Number 1 and Anna met on January 11, 2009.  Yes, I do know the date.  A most auspicious event in all our lives.  I could tell something was different for my boy right away.  Mommy was excited…

“What’s her name sweetie?”  “I’m not going to tell you.”  “Why?”  “Because you’ll facebook-stalk her.”

It took some time, but I eventually squeezed her name out of him.

And, I facebook-stalked her.

Then, I blog-stalked her.

And I fell in love.  And I hadn’t even met her yet.

Finally I met her.  And I loved her more. 

And I pretended I didn’t know she had a blog.  “Oh, you have a blog?  Do you mind if I read it?”

Yep.  I surely did.

For me, this journey took FOREVER to come to fruition.  In reality, it didn’t.  It’s just that I was SO READY!  But everything happened the way it should.  I know that.  And I am just grateful we’re where we are now.  The wait makes the engagement all the more sweet.

Thanks to all Anna’s friends who dropped by here offering their congratulations and votes for Team Anna.

I know how lucky we are, my friends.  I truly know.

And let me assure you, Number 1 is one of the most amazing people I have ever known.  They are an outstanding match and will achieve spectacular things!

And have a blast along the way.

A long journey…with a very happy ending.  I do so love you Anna.  Welcome to the family!  I am thrilled that you will no longer be a mommy all alone.

Now hurry up and give me grandkids.

Guest blogger: Anna

Posted in Guest Blogger on February 10, 2010 by dunnthat

Many of you know Anna from her comments on my blog.  And if you’re smart, you’re reading her blog.  Don’t you just LOVE HER??

I asked her to be a guest blogger here for a special announcement.  She graciously accepted. 

You should know that Anna hasn’t even blogged in this much detail about her news on her own blog.  We (the royal “we”) are most pleased.

Yep.

Here she is:

A little over a year ago at Christmas I was sandwiched between two of my nephews in the back seat of the car. I was sitting in the middle so they could have a better view as we drove around to look at the Christmas lights.  During the ride my little 5 year old nephew turned to me and said, “Anna? Are you lonely? You are just a mommy* all by yourself.” I giggled. How sweet that he picked up on my situation. He knew I was his only auntie without a husband.

Well, this auntie is no longer going to be “a mommy all by herself”……

I am engaged. Engaged, engaged, ENGAGED!!!

The who I am engaged to is the very best part… Number 1. They don’t come any better. I really am a lucky girl. Did I mention that he makes me happy? Like annoyingly happy. Like I don’t think straight happy. So happy, that I am writing about it on someone else’s blog happy.

How’s that for news? 😉

Oh yeah… Do you know what this means????? Dunnthat is going to be my mother-in-law. I know. YOU are all jealous. You should be. She is even better than her blog makes her out to be.

Love,

Mrs. nannersbananners-dunnthat.

*I don’t have any children. My nephew refers to all women as mommies, with or without kids of their own.

YAY!!  YAY YAY YAY!!  Aren’t we lucky?  I have to tell you, I’ve been waiting for this longer than she has…fo’ shizzle.

And isn’t she sweet?  I only had to pay her a minimal fee to say nice things about me.  The family discount.

Pays to be related.

Dementia at 49

Posted in Daily Bread on February 8, 2010 by dunnthat

At some point my joke is no longer funny.  I truly fear I am losing my mind.  Remember this post?

And you all will be witness to my degeneration through my blogging entries.  You’ll be able to actually track my decline.

When you think about it, it’s sort of cool.  In a scientific kind of way.

Last week I was talking to one of my super good friends.  We’re the kind of friends who love each other even though we don’t talk as often as we’d like.  It can be months since we’ve actually connected, and then we do manage to connect and it’s like no time has passed.  We pick up right where we left off.

Don’t you just love friends like that?

In the past little while I’ve actually had something to talk to her about that sort of required her expertise.

See, this friend is a psychotherapist by profession.  And she’s a dang good one.

But she’s a better friend.

Who doesn’t read my blog.  At all.  Whatever.

Anyway, last week I was talking to her…this time through email…and I shared a very personal experience with her.  One that I just don’t care to share with the masses.

This was her response…paraphrased:  “You already told me that.  Don’t you remember?  We talked at great length about this.  I fear you need professional help.  Beyond my capabilities.”

Okay, so I made up the last two sentences.

But seriously.  Seriously??

I am losing more and more conversations with people.  This isn’t an isolated event. 

And I can look right at someone whom I know…I know…and totally forget her name.

Part of this is kind of funny.  But now I’m getting worried. 

Do I not use my brain enough?  Is it atrophying?

Remember me y’all.  Please just say you’ll remember me when I was whole.