Archive for November, 2009

Thanksgiving Day dysfunction

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on November 30, 2009 by dunnthat

I love Thanksgiving.  Love the family, love the food, love the relaxing after the meal.

Some people don’t.

Some people have weird families.  I don’t understand these people.  I don’t understand how some people have weird families and dread Thanksgiving.

I always thought miserable Thanksgiving Days were exaggerated for effect.

Not so.

So…dinner is going well.  Seventeen family members are gathered around the turkey.  Everyone’s there. 

Life is good.  No worries.

Unbeknownst to the family, an “ongoing resentment” is percolating in young Paul, 35.

Geez Paul.  Take a walk.

Which he did, apparently.  Then he came back.

And shot and killed his twin sisters, one of whom was pregnant, his 79-year-old aunt, a sweet six-year-old girl, and critically injured his brother-in-law.

That’s some resentment.

How does this happen??  Such a sad day that will be remembered each year at Thanksgiving as a tragedy.

I just don’t get it.

Gosh I love my family.

Story here.

P.S.  I know this isn’t funny.  (I feel so much pressure to be funny…)  Except in the funny “odd” way.   I’m just grateful for my family.  That’s all.

Double your pleasure

Posted in In the News on November 25, 2009 by dunnthat

Question:  If a young man fondles these, does he have to confess?

Just wondering.

Let me make this clear:  I have all kinds of empathy for people who might want to consider losing weight. 

Criminy – I need to lose weight for sobbing out loud.

But I’m rather discriminatory about what I wear in this sad state. 

For example:  I wear shorts when I water ski.  No need to subject my family and friends to eye pollution when they’re just trying to enjoy the landscape.

I don’t wear cap sleeve shirts if I can help it.  Frankly, I find men’s t-shirts far more flattering on my arms.

My days of wearing short shorts are OVER.

Low rise jeans, though “in,” are a bad choice for my body.  I try to keep them to a minimum.

Halter-tops, midriff shirts, see-through attire, and shirts that are just too tight are wardrobe taboo.

I know this.  And I have banned such clothes from my closet.

Even in private moments, if you know what I mean.

My point is this:  Sweetheart…if you have back fat that looks like breasts, perhaps you might want to rethink the swimming-suit-as-a-top option (complete with matching string to pull the ensemble together).  A nice billowy blouse that is most definitely NOT see-through would be fabulous.

Consider your fellow man.

Give a hoot.  Don’t pollute.

Photo courtesy of http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/.  Yes, CM, I have been there, but took another gander recently at your reminder.

I am not OCD. I’m not. I’m not. OCD. I’m not.

Posted in Daily Bread on November 23, 2009 by dunnthat

I don’t need to touch each light switch as I walk through a room, but I sure do fixate on things.

Certain things, people, events, tasks, whatever, just get in my system and I can’t focus on much else.  I think this is how my ADD manifests itself.  I am unable to multi-focus.  If I come to your house and the television is on, I can’t really have a conversation with you. 

I will try to focus on what you’re saying, but my eyes and mind will always flip toward the audio competition. 

This is especially problematic for visiting teaching.

I’m just saying.

So, this is my latest fixation:  Painting. 

Not because I like it.  Oh, no.  I LOATHE IT.  But we have this rental that is vacant and needs painting before it can be rented again, and I just cannot stand anything else until the painting is done.

Consequently, I now spring forth with the essence of Eau de Turpentine.  I got paint in my hair last week while doing oil-based trim.

In my defense, I was painting a door when my pony tail brushed against the freshly painted door behind me.

Innocent mistake, no?

Have you ever had paint in your hair??  Not the easy-to-work-with latex paint. 

Oh, no.  This was oil-based paint.

There is no combing.  Or finger-running-through-ing.

Until you pop open the turpentine and rub your brains out.

Sigh.

I was coming out of Sherwin Williams last week, and some marketing geniuses approached me with their card and said, “Maybe next time.”

I about wept.  And threw myself on their necks with sheer exhaustion and desperation.

These guys are brilliant.

Just brilliant.

Definitely next time.

Switching teams

Posted in Daily Bread on November 20, 2009 by dunnthat

Okay – minds out of the gutter…not where I’m going with this.

Remember my love for Stephenie Meyer…  To recap – love the books, not because they are high art, but because the author deserves the love.  Just a regular Mormon housewife who had a dream (literally) and wrote a book about it.  She’s stayed grounded and is just a regular nice person.  (I know people who know her.)

SO – Twilight the movie…great because it allowed a visualization of the beloved book, but seriously – quite laughable and hard to defend to those who aren’t ardent fans.  Lame special effects clouded otherwise well-executed performances by the stars.

You may recall from my Twilight post that I was unsure about Jacob. 

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

I am TOTALLY switching teams!  Look, anyone who’s read the books knows which “team” (Jacob or Edward) wins the prize, so it’s rather pointless to be siding with either man, but ladies…It is Cougar Town for this old lady.

Taylor Lautner is a beautiful specimen of a man.  Seriously – he’s 17 years old?  I feel dirty, but in such a good way.

I don’t care who you are…this boy is beautiful. 

Just soak it in for a moment.

Okay.

So, of course I saw New Moon at midnight.  Duh.  I just didn’t get into the New Moon hype like I did for Twilight.  As you’ll recall, I was way ahead of the game on the fandom, but now that the Twilight fever has hit the world with such force, it’s just not that fun to be a fan anymore.

I didn’t really watch the trailers.  Didn’t really get all amped for the movie.  In fact, I was so tired last night I almost considered missing it.

Oh so glad I didn’t.

I am here to give you a rousing YES YES YES on this movie.  It’s amazing what a little money can do for special effects.  I LOVED the werewolves.  All of them.  Hot hot hot.  And the wolves themselves…very nicely done.

I was worried.

Fears allayed.  This is a beautiful stand-alone movie…even without reading the books.  I … just … loved it.

LOVED!

New Moon may be my favorite book of the series because I thought it portrayed anguish better than anything I’d read in some time.  There is a point in the book where Meyer shows the painful passing of time by writing the month on a blank page:  October.  Then the page is turned.  November.  And on for several pages/months.  I just remember the first time I read it and feeling the pain with each physical turn of the page.  Turning the pages actually hurt.

I loved that.  And for me, the movie does a perfect job of showing this pain in the way Meyer intended.  I was so pleased with that scene.

I do have some nits to pick.  Same nits.  Edward.  Still don’t see the love for Rob Pattinson.  He’s fine.  But there was a point in the movie where his shirt was off for several minutes, and it just made me uncomfortable.  I kept thinking, “Dude.  Back on.  Just put it back on.”

He’s too skinny, pasty white, and just looks emaciated to me.  Not a muscle bulging anywhere.  And really, same gripe as last movie…chest wax dude.  Clean it up for your big scene. 

Duh.

But overall – two enthusiastic thumbs up.

So Anna…I know Breaking Dawn broke your heart.  Move past it.  Come back to the dark side.  You’ll be glad you did.

A little taste:

Just say NO to the combover

Posted in Daily Bread on November 18, 2009 by dunnthat

At what point does a man commit to the combover? 

Do the math…if hair, on average, grows 1/2 inch a month, a six-inch combover would take a year’s worth of effort.

How would a man wear his hair during the in-between phase?

Let’s say you have a nice three-inch combover going for you, but it only stretches across half the scalp.  Do you comb it over the scalp with a three-inch gap before it reaches the other side?

I don’t think you could actually comb it back on its growing side if it’s longer than the healthy hair.

That would just look odd.

And once the desired six-inches is reached, drag that part and get that long hair up over there. 

And pray the wind doesn’t blow.

Dude.  Give it up.

Let me make a suggestion:  Just say NO to the combover.  Embrace the blankness of hair.  Cut it all short.  Or off.

Do it for us.  Do it for yourself. 

Do it for humanity.

Random thoughts

Posted in Daily Bread on November 17, 2009 by dunnthat
  • The swine flu has descended upon our house.  Pray for us.
  • I will not infect anyone without telling them first.
  • If women shouldn’t really wear slacks to church,  how is it culturally acceptable to wear capri-length tights that look like pants under skirts?
  • Last night I took multi-tasking to a new level…run water in bathroom sink, wet toothbrush, leave water running to warm up to wash face, put toothpaste on toothbrush, brush teeth, while going to the bathroom, spit, rinse, wet washcloth with now warm water, turn off water, wash face, moisturize face.  Yeah, I’m disgusted, too.
  • Jet Blue + red-eye + exit row no charge + empty flight = lying across three seats to sleep.
  • If rock beats scissors and scissors beats paper, why, then, can’t rock beat paper? (read on a comic strip – wish it was mine)
  • Girls weekend + St. George + no sleep + Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband + Peter Breinholt + excessive spending on Thomas Singer jewelry (yeah, I’d never heard of him either) = awesomeness, exhaustion and blog neglect.
  • Being alluded to in the sentence “Thin people eat a lot” = the best part of the entire trip.
  • I need sleepy.

These boots are made for walkin’

Posted in Daily Bread on November 12, 2009 by dunnthat

I just got back from a quick business trip to New York City. 

Yep.  I’ve hit the big time.  I feel so cool just saying that.

I’m so not cool.

Anyway, we did some walking.  A lot of walking.  And what are my favorite shoes of all time?

Remember?

These:

red boots

I think I can safely say that I was the only woman in all of Manhattan in red cowboy boots.

Or in cowboy boots of any kind.

Because I looked.

And, I think I can safely say I was the only person in cowboy boots in Manhattan.

We were at a Consumer Electronics show and one of the booths sported awesome massage chairs, so husband and I gave them a whirl.

We were asked to take off our shoes. 

My pants pretty much covered my boots so they weren’t super obvious until I took them off and placed them next to the massage chair.

I said to the chair guy, “Bet you don’t see that very often.”

“Nope.  I’m not a cowboy.”

Well gosh, neither am I.  Is that the point of cowboy boots?  To be a cowboy?

I’ve decided I’m a trend setter.  Next year, all you’ll see in New York City is cowboy boots. 

Likely red ones.

I just have to give a shout out to the show we saw while there.  In the Heights.  Seriously, off the hook.  One of my favorites of all time.  In the Heights won four Tony’s in 2008:  Best Musical, Best Score, Best Choreography and Best Orchestration.

Well deserved.

I’ve seen a lot of musicals.  A LOT.  This ranks.  And the best recommendation I can give it is that my husband liked it very much.  One of his tops.  Of all time.

He said it best, “A lot of musicals have an energetic number in the beginning, in the middle and at the end.  This musical was energetic throughout with just a few ballads thrown in.”

I concur.  It’s modern, energetic, funny, amazing music, incredible voices, great dancing, eye-popping.  I never thought I’d like rap.  (It’s not all rap – a lot of rap, but the singing that’s done is jaw-dropping.)  Absolutely fabulous.

A taste of In the Heights: