My arteries are crying

“We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle…here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!'”
~ Jim Gaffigan

Poor Jim.  Just making a joke, and look what happens.

People, put your pencils down.  Because we’re done.

The Big E in Massachusetts has redefined excess, and its name is The Craz-E Burger, a bacon cheeseburger nestled between a honey-glazed donut. 

Weighing in at 1500 calories, the Big E sold more than 2,000 of these gems last weekend. 

Let’s see, that’s 3,000,000 calories.

From just that burger.

In one weekend.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

The news article I’ve linked says these babies “make your mouth water.”  Yeah, my mouth always waters just before I vomit.

Ew.  I can’t imagine.

Also on the menu at The Big E:  fried oreos, (battered, THEN fried), fried cheesecake, fried mushrooms, fried cheese curd, (what the H???), and the can’t-seem-to-ever-get-rid-of corn dogs.

Let’s see.  I’ll have the Craz-E Burger, a large order of fries, a chocolate milkshake…

And a Diet Coke.

To go.