Archive for July, 2009

Random thoughts: latest additions

Posted in Daily Bread, Random thoughts on July 31, 2009 by dunnthat
  • For the first time in almost ten years all my boys of dating age are dating someone they kind of like, so now when I check out girls it’s more creepy than helpful.
  • Mini FINALLY activates the airbag in the front seat!  This means he’s over 90 pounds. Woot woot!
  • Ladies from the ward, it’s important that you know that *I* don’t advertise my blog in the Relief Society newsletter.  Carina does that all by herself.  I am narcissistic, sure, but COME ON.
  • Today I wore my pajamas until 1:00 p.m. because I was out of clean underwear and had to wait for the wash.
  • I touch my face way too much to wear make-up.  I’m a face toucher.
  • My husband told me recently that I said “I think I’m really funny” three times in a single conversation.  Well GOSH, I wouldn’t say it so many times if you just said, “Yes.  You’re very funny.”
  • If you see colored words in my posts, you should know that that is probably a link to another post or a web page.  Just click on the words.  You’re welcome.
  • Number one passed the Professional Engineer exam in California!  (He was able to take it earlier in California, so he did.)  Yay!  He now has initials after his name, as in:  Number One, P.E.
  • Number three brought home some treats from Brazil:  Hepatitis A AND Hepatitis B.  Enzymes through the roof. (For you medical types: AST SGOT 496…should be between 0-40; ALT SGPT 176…should be between 0-55.)  Did more testing, and WHAT?  All enzymes normal.  I would call that…a miracle.  Would you?
  • Number three crochets.  Yes he does.  He crocheted headbands for all the missionaries who played the University of Caxias basketball team one P-day.
  • I haven’t thought about lacrosse for months.  This is a big first for a summer in a LONG time.
  • Apparently I’ve been around long enough in the blog world to get spam comments.  They’re always in Russian or something.  Weird.

Why I think I have a brain tumor

Posted in Daily Bread on July 30, 2009 by dunnthat

Or at the very least, a great big void on my CAT scan:

1.  Last night at dinner I told the group through the chaos that we should pray before we ate.  I was told, “We already did.”  I said, “When?  Really?”  “Just now.  Don’t you remember?  You folded your arms…you said ‘Amen.’  Don’t you remember?”  No.  Didn’t remember.  Then they started messing with me.  “We didn’t really pray.”  “Really??  You were just messing with me?”  They all said, “Yep.  Messing with you.  We didn’t pray.”  “Oh my gosh!  I’m so relieved!  I really thought I’d lost it!”  Then someone else said, “No, we really prayed.”  OH…MY…GOSH!!  I felt like I was going crazy!! 

So here’s the thing:  They DID pray and I seriously don’t remember.  Scary.

2.  Two days ago at the gym after my workout, I went to the locker room to open my locker.  I’d brought my own padlock.  And…I couldn’t remember the combination.  At all.  It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve used the padlock, but STILL.  I KNOW this combination!  I sat there and stared at it for five minutes.  I tried every combination I could think of.  Tried them again.  Nope.  Forgot.  I had to have the lock cut off because my car keys were in the locker.  WEIRD.

I still can’t remember the combination.

3.  This morning I put water on my cold cereal.  I KNOW!

4.  When my son said there were a lot of cars on the road, I said, “Well yeah.  It’s, uh…”  Pause.  Pause.  “That time of day when everyone comes home from work.”

Couldn’t think of the words “rush hour.”

This is all within the last three days.

Weird thing, though.  No headaches.  No nose bleeds.  Just brain voids. 

Oldest says, “Maybe you’re just sunsetting.”  “Sunsetting?”  “Yeah, you know, like what Nana has.”  “Nana has DEMENTIA!” 

OH MY GOSH!  I have dementia!

What does this MEAN??  I’m laughing.  I really am.  But kind of worried, too.  This is SO WEIRD.

Oh, and PS:  I’m having hot flashes.  Is this related??

Best toys in the world for a toddler

Posted in Daily Bread on July 29, 2009 by dunnthat

Who needs Fisher Price when you have a three-foot length of rebar and a steak knife?


While missionary prepared a fantasmic Brazilian churrasco (shu-HAH-sko) at the Bishop’s house, we watched with wondering awe as this young boy played happily with this piece of rebar and a steak knife.  The boy ran around the court/patio with both toys firmly in hand, easily navigating the tight fit where the half barrel of burning coals and meat sizzled and smoked:


Eventually the little girl got jealous and they started fighting over the knife.  My eyes got bigger and rounder as I quietly panicked.  They jerked the knife  between them back and forth, back and forth. 

The solution? 

A steak knife of her own.  At which point the two kids contently started cutting through the gaps between panels of wood on the floor.

This young bishop and his wife were darling.  And very laid back. 


The moral of this story? 

Relax.  Life is short.  The kids will be fine.

Thoughts from Lake Powell

Posted in Daily Bread on July 27, 2009 by dunnthat
  • I have GOT to lose some weight.  Okay.  A lot of weight.
  • I am SO spoiled.  Houseboat = aMAZing.
  • I’m the only person I know who can spend a week in Lake Powell and come home whiter than when she left.  It’s called MELANOMA people!  Stop making fun of me. 
  • Early morning hard ski plus Costco poppy seed and/or chocolate chocolate chip giant muffin for breakfast = calorie surplus.  Sigh.
  • LOVE Haven Kimmel.  Started and finished She Got Up Off the Couch, her part two memoir after A Girl Named Zippy.  Just so you know, if I could write, I’d like to write like her.  Laugh out loud funny.  Two enthusiastic thumbs up.
  • Good news:  Even through significant weight gain since last year, I have more stamina than I expected.  Yay gym.
  • Bad news:  Our ski boat must have lost horse power … Pulled me out of the water slower this year.  Hmmm.  What does this mean?  Stupid boat.
  • I love Lake Powell.  Love.  Gorgeous.
  • But it is HOT.  HOT!  I burned my foot on the carpet of the ski boat.  JUMP IN THE WATER!
  • I will MAKE son number three (recently returned missionary) love The Big Bang Theory.  I will I will I will.  (Watched it a lot during lunches…)
  • Son number three discovers that two years without sun causes sunburn without sunscreen.  Told ya.
  • Son number two pops out of the water so fast when water-skiing his hair doesn’t even get wet.  When I said how awesome I thought that was, he said, “I don’t like to drag.”  Well DUH.  Neither do I.  But I do.  Hmmm.  What does this mean?
  • I like having another girl on the boat with me.  Yay DIL.
  • Ice cream at Lake Powell is decadent and should be very wrong.  But it’s so very very good.
  • Husband and I don’t act our age.  Still skiing…and actually both kind of old.  Take THAT aging demons!
  • I need a vacation from my vacation.  Too much gone time.  Too too much.  In the last five weeks I’ve been home one.  Going to rest tomorrow.  I earned it.
  • Breaks in blogs means I’m out of town.  Won’t be the last time this summer.  Vacations = fun AND exahaustion.  I know…poor me.
  • My boys are men.  Number four reached the man rank this summer.
  • ‘Cept mini.  Keeping him teeny as long as possible.
  • Mini started and finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on the trip (second time).
  • Number one started and finished Into Thin Air (about climbing Everest – to which I always have to ask…BUT WHY would any sane person want to do that??).
  • Why were we all reading so much?  Can’t ski all the time…
  • There’s something so exciting about watching a movie at Lake Powell when it’s dark.  Love it.
  • Ready to come home, but always ready to go back.  This is my love letter to Lake Powell.  HEART YOU.

Thoughts from Girls Camp

Posted in Daily Bread on July 18, 2009 by dunnthat
  • I like to be clean.  A lot.  I wasn’t.  A lot.
  • I ate two bugs.  Within minutes of each other.  Sick.
  • I have a new girl crush:  Mindy Gledhill.  Sang at camp.  Gave a motivational talk about how we don’t need to be thin and beautiful and super talented.  She is thin and beautiful and super talented.  Sigh.  Heart her.
  • Really intense campfire smell smells like tobacco on my clothes.
  • I like to sleep in beds.  I didn’t.  A lot.
  • Which makes me love my cabin more than ever.  Beds.  I like beds.
  • I like flush toilets.  Had them.  But they were distant and I almost didn’t make it once.  I enjoy a close-by bathroom.
  • I didn’t realize how much I like being naked in my bedroom…just from the closet to the shower.  Ahhh.  Missed that.  Missed my shower.
  • Came home to my shower, and the water heater wasn’t working.  Bummer.
  • I feel I shall never be clean again.
  • Young women are thoughtful and cute and helpful (for the most part).
  • I love these girls…even though I don’t have any myself, I can enjoy them as a surrogate.
  • Young women have so much love to give.  They like to hug.  I like to hug.  Works.
  • Young women have an unusually potent fear of ticks.  Fortunately they prayed (how cute is that) and they felt their prayers were answered.
  • You can find a kindred spirit who is thirty years younger than you.
  • I met a lot of people who have really weird talents – not useful, but very funny.
  • I’m tired.
  • You can get a sunburn even when you don’t think you’re in the sun.  Yay for farmer tans and burned noses.
  • If this is the telestial world, I’m okay with shooting for that.  This world is beautiful.
  • I like hanging out with the women leaders.  Another ward let us use their foot bath (they called it The Waters of Mormon).  They had magazines to read while we soaked.  But even better they sat and talked with us.  And they gave us polish.  And I heart them.  A lot.
  • Starburst can be roasted over a fire like marshmallows.  DELICIOUS.  Great…I’ve found yet another way to gain weight.  And oh, did I find many…
  • I didn’t have time for this.  But I’m glad I went.
  • If you hang around your dirty self long enough, you stop smelling bad.  Right?
  • Some women are happy no matter what.  How do they do it?  Drugs?  I want some.
  • Some women work tirelessly and are embarrassed when they are recognized for it.  Weird.
  • I can learn from young women leaders who are young enough to be my daughter.
  • I am allergic to dust.  New discovery.  Still sneezing.  Blowing my nose brought surprising results.  Black.  Gross.
  • It is possible to live without a cell phone for four days.  But I wouldn’t recommend it.
  • Sleeping on a slant puts you at the bottom of a tent at 4:00 a.m. 
  • I longed for level more than anything (except a shower).
  • Watching my young women wash the feet of young women from another ward was a spiritual experience. (service project)
  • There is no end to the charity of some women. 
  • I was nicer to the women at camp than I was to my family when I got home.  This is bad.
  • Elves did not visit my home in my absence and keep the lawn green and the dishes done.  Sad.
  • Camp intensifies all relationships.  That is to say…if there is someone you like, you will like her even more once you spend non-stop time with her.  If there is someone who bugs you, she will bug you even more after non-stop time.  Mostly, I found people I grew to like even more.  This is good.

Nature or nurture?

Posted in Daily Bread on July 14, 2009 by dunnthat

I learned something yesterday.  I’m pretty sure that a girl’s drooling love of shoes is innate.  You’re either born with it or you’re not. 

We had a gathering at my house, and my nephew’s adorable four-year-old daughter had a love affair with the shoes that were kindly removed upon entering my house and placed by the door.

She was in heaven.  She tried on every pair and walked the catwalk through my entry and down the hall. 

All day.

I was FASCINATED.  This was a testimony for “nature” in the whole nature/nurture debate if I ever saw one.

In the whole “born with it or you’re not” argument, I’m definitely a “not.”  All I need is a good pair of sensible, comfortable shoes and I’m pretty much satisfied.

My husband calls these “lesbian shoes.”

If this is really the case, I think the lesbians may have something – at least when it comes to shoes.  Sturdy shoes that are functional.  Really, that’s all I need.  A good pair of Dansko, for example.


These shoes whisper “I love you” with every step.  Good support for my heel and arch and well-made.  Last forever.

Comfortable shoes can be stylin’, for sure.  Like my Ariat boots.  But do I wear them just because I look sassy in them (which I do, by the way)? 

Nope.  I wear them because they are freakin’ comfortable. 

red boots

I love Ariats and they love me back.  With every step.

Don’t get me wrong.  I enjoy a hot pair of heels.  They do make my legs look longer, and to be honest, I like towering above everyone.  I can really see everything so much more clearly from up there.

For example, I really like these shoes.  I may even love them. 









But my milk doesn’t come in when I see them.  If you know what I mean.


Utah Breast Augmentation

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on July 12, 2009 by dunnthat

A recurring ad on my facebook page is for Utah Breast Augmentation.  I get it a lot. 

This is their claim:  Practically pain-free rapid recovery.  Go out the same day enjoying yourself with “just the right curves.”  Be back to work in 24-48 hours.

Enjoying myself.  Yeppers.  And…with just the right curves.

I’d like to make an observation…if I’m going to say, have breast augmentation, I’m probably going to be looking for someone a little more current than this guy with the head mirror:

Breast Augmentation doc

Perhaps he’ll administer the anesthesia with a hand crank.  And keep it going with a foot pump.

I hope he lifts weights.  That’s got to be exhausting.