Sometimes people say things just because they’ve been said before. And sometimes these things make absolutely no sense.
The funniest phrases come from parenting, don’t you think?
My parents: “I’m sick and tired of…” Sick AND tired? Not just sick. Not just tired. Sick AND tired.
Husband’s parents: “And I don’t mean maybe …” I don’t even know where to go with that.
Praying sometimes is really funny to me. Not only have I heard this phrase in prayer, I’ve used this phrase in prayer: “Please bless that we’ll be safe as we attend the rest of our meetings today.”
Now how often has any of us been attacked by robbers in the hallways at church? Hazardous corridors…oooo. Perhaps we might trip and fall. That would be bad. And dangerous.
But mostly, it’s pretty safe.
“Please bless this food that it will nourish and strengthen our bodies and do us the good that we need.”
Who talks like that? Brigham Young? I like to pray over the refreshments that they won’t make me fat. Now that’s a valuable blessing right there.
J. Golden Kimball is, for obvious reasons, my favorite historical church leader. Probably because he was clearly himself and he didn’t let anyone change him. Once in a sacrament meeting he was presiding over as a stake leader, he noticed many of the congregation dozing off. (Believe me, if I were in a sacrament meeting with J. Golden Kimball, I would have been on the edge of my seat and had a pencil and paper handy.)
He stood up to the pulpit and tested his theory: “All those in favor of moving Mt. Nebo across the valley, please indicate by raising your right hand.”
Hands were raised to the square.
“Now how the hell are you gonna do that??”
Of course, I paraphrase. I wasn’t there. But you get the idea.
And then, there are the heartfelt, original prayers, such as our oldest boy’s first prayer in Primary. He was three.
We tried to prime him a little bit beforehand. Tried to tell him, “Now you know we don’t pray for personal things in a church prayer. Like, we don’t pray for Lady…”
He interrupted us. Impatient. “I know!” As in, DUH. I’m certainly capable of a prayer in Primary for crying out loud.
Time for the prayer. Husband and I are sitting in the back, tense but proud. And the prayer begins.
Things are going well. He’s really thought about what he wanted to say, and he was covering all his bases.
Until the final thought:
“Please bless that we won’t dink around. Because this is Primary.”
So proud. So very very proud.